Best Review: I regret to say that Hollywood is experiencing a severe shortage of fresh ideas. You want proof? I’ve got it. ‘News of the World’ is the third ‘Kid and Carlson in the Wild West’ movie in recent memory. The logical sequence is ‘Iron Grip,’ ‘Strictly West,’ and ‘News of the World.’ The same thing happens in all of these movies. A life-worn, scurvy and hemorrhoids-hardened, tired, cynical steppe wolf accompanies an unlivable child (no matter what gender) from point A to point B. Along the way, the companions democratically help some number of locals to go to the other side, and the experienced ‘Carlson’ acts as a socialization agent with respect to ‘The Kid’. “Kid” becomes smarter, more cynical, and at the same time learns to speak, read, write, and wash his hands before eating. ‘Carlson’ also changes. After dealing with fat-faced youth, the old cynic becomes softer, more human, and now, he kills not everyone he meets on the way, but through one (there is a flexible system of discounts).
The new movie by the director, who once made movies about the moronic Agent Bourne, is virtually no different (except for a few details) from its predecessors. The former Captain Kidd travels through the tolerant, enlightened state of Texas and sows the sensible, the good, the eternal. The captain acts as a modern media man – he reads out to illiterate but eager Texans the news from last year’s newspapers, and accompanies it with his own, condensed commentary. Thus Kidd is the progenitor of the modern Internet, radio and television. Granny is a gossipy gossip girl in the singular.
Everything would be fine, but Kidd is forced to have a companion, a girl raised by Indians and Indians who, for some reason, democratically-minded Americans have not yet had time to kill. ‘The tree of democracy must be irrigated with the blood of patriots and tyrants,’ said one of the founders of the United States. Native Americans are the real tyrants, illegally (without the permission of Congress) settled on foreign soil. So…
Next, it’s business as usual. Kidd takes the girl across the vastness of Texas. As safari participants, they will be greeted by members of the local elite – racists, pedophiles, unkempt Indians, and other decent citizens. Nature will also do its part, making it difficult for the heroes to advance toward their ultimate goal. Except for a few details, this movie echoes the storyline of ‘Iron Grip’ and ‘Strictly West’.
Yes, lead actress Helen Zengel is an absolute miracle, a beautiful, malleable child with a sunny smile. Yes, Tom Hanks’ expensive false teeth in 19th century Texas look as appropriate as Hitler at a bar mitzvah (the director doesn’t know how to work with actors – would have knocked out a couple of his front teeth, insurance will cover everything). Yes, there are a couple of moments in the movie that will make the compassionate viewers grip their hearts, and maybe even shed a tear. But, on the whole, the device – an innocent child and an old geezer in a hostile world full of dangers, the device is already boring and outdated, as well as the whole genre of westerns. By the way, Texas is in the South, right? Why is the genre stated as ‘western’ then? We need to correct that! It’s correct to say saufern! Or is it saussern? Knowledgeable people will figure it out.
Bottom line.
Disneyland with horseback rides, shooting, a pinch of tolerance (minority rights) and tear-jerking moments. A movie for bored housewives.
